Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Sex and love's not real when it's from you (Part II)

This isn't really a real sequel to Part I, but it happened yesterday and it's got some rather amusing imagery. But first, some background info on the text (IRC logs, incoming).

A couple of guys and a girl were talking about dating. Specifically, how to ask a girl out.

Mochi: my brother is baking a cake for the girl he likes
aqua: that's sweet
quincy: i wrote a poem for the girl i liked :x
be0wulf: quincy, you pansy. girls don't take after poems any longer. you just call them up and be like.."hey i like you, wanna go for a movie sometime?"
quincy: well, she told me to write it, so i did
aqua: i think writing a poem is better than making a mixtape

So naturally the discussion turned to poems and their merits.

quincy: be0wulf, i guarantee if you wrote a sestina about a girl, she'll go on a date with you, if you're smooth about it
Mochi: wet meadows
quincy: wet meadows sound dirty
Masao: wet meadows sound kinky

And the conversation quickly loses its initial innocent intentions.

xenosagafreak: slick meadows
xenosagafreak: slippery meadows
quincy: moist meadows
be0wulf: tasty juicy meadows, dripping with...juices
be0wulf: wait, are we still talking about grass?
Masao: if there's grass on the field play ball
Masao: even if there isn't, play ball then too

I think its safe to say that meadows have now become a metaphor for...something. However:

quincy: grassy hills
be0wulf: HAHA QUINCY LIKES GRASSY HILLS
be0wulf: meadows = metaphor for _______
be0wulf: hills = metaphor for _______
aqua: be0wulf we get it we don't care hairy breasts or not

He attempts to save himself.

quincy: i'm talking about the mons veneris
quincy: know your female anatomy
be0wulf: okay whatever
be0wulf: you can go have your grassy hills

Lesson to be learned today: IRC is a dangerous place. We'll take what you think you know, twist it into something unrecognizable, and will still manage to turn that into something erotic. You have been warned.

p.s. this actually isn't the one i was planning on releasing this week, but it was just so funny i couldn't help myself. i've got two more entries lined up (one's part III of this series, one's a surprise) for this week and next, so look forward to it.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Cheer up, emo kid~

You know what's wrong with emo/scene people? Their styles of dress are so androgynous that sometimes it's impossible to tell if one is male or female. I mean, both genders, when emo, dress in tight jeans, tight sweaters, and Chuck Taylors. Then there's the haircut. The Emo Fringe can either signify a female with short hair or a male with long hair.

Take today for example. I was on the bus and this...thing...gets on.

Semi-long emo fringe: check.
Lack of facial hair: check.
Tight jeans. Tight sweater. Chuck Taylors: check, check, and check.

So s/he sits down and I'm just staring at him/her, trying to place a gender on the kid. It was a fairly interesting 10 minutes until s/he got off at Granville street.

As s/he was getting off, I noticed that his/her backpack strap was pink.

Score?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

LIFE EXTENDING AGENTS FOR ALL!!!



Apparently it's an rpg, and Aurica is a sick little girl who requires "life extending agents" in order to survive. She's also underage. So if you find this arousing, you're a sickfuck.

lul, jam it all the way in.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Diabetes Awareness Day...

...is what they should rename Halloween as. I don't think I want to look a Kit-Kat bar in the face ever again, in my life.

Incidentally, drive-thru windows are too complicated.

And also, somebody fails at setting up fireworks >.>